Secrets
by xCrimsonDeathxx
Summary: Grell has stopped eating, and it seems no one notices. But sometimes, things aren't what they seem. There is one who cares, and he is willing to do whatever it takes to save the crimson reaper. Will he be on time?  :Grell x Undertaker. Rating may go up.:
1. On thin ice

Slowly opening his eyes, the feminine red haired reaper let his eyes focus on the clock that hung on the wall. Sitting up quickly, he went into a panic, having realized he had overslept drastically. Climbing from bed, he took in deep breaths, soon realizing he had stood up way to fast. Grabbing on to the wall, he waited for the wave of dizziness to pass. It was something he was becoming more and more familiar with. After a few moments, he hurried into the small bathroom connected to his apartment. Due to him being the lowest rank possible for a Shinigami, he stayed in one of the smallest apartments as at himself in the mirror for a moment, he let out an exasperated sigh, before turning to switch on the shower. Stripping himself of his clothes, Grell shakily stepped into the warm shower, letting it fall on his head, and down his shoulders.

He wasn't sure how long he spent in the shower, but he knew it had to be quite awhile when he realized the water went cold, and heard pounding at his door. Quickly switching the water off, he hurried to get dry, and then got dressed, adding on extra layers due to being cold. It was summer time in England, and not even cold, but lately he noticed that he was mostly always cold. After pulling on his clothes, he tiredly made his way over to his door, and pulled it open, only to receive a smack from his one and only superior.

Usually the annoying red head would have just whined and rubbed his cheek, but something was wrong, and William quickly caught on when Grell actually fell to the ground. For a moment he almost got worried, but then decided whatever it was, he didn't care. Glaring down, he adjusted his famed glasses. "Get up Sutcliff, you are extremely late for work, and I am not going to do overtime because of you."

Slightly nodding his head, the red head slowly pulled himself to his feet, staying quiet mostly. "Y-Yes sir…" Turning, he hurried passed the dark haired Shinigami, trying his best not to cry. Leaving the office, Grell quickly made his way from that realm, wanting to get as far away from William as possible. He knew very well he was much to weak to work, but continued to tell himself that he could do it, and that he needed to.

Pulling out his little book, he flipped through it, seeing that he only needed to collect one soul, and it seemed to be of a kid who had a contract with a demon. He'd never heard of the kid, and was a bit shocked that there was another young boy other than Alois or Ciel that had a contract with a demon. Of course this worried him. Chances were, he would end up having to fight the demon, and by no means did he have the strength for that.

Walking slowly, he headed toward where the book stated the boy would be, a almost permanent frown gracing his face. If people actually paid attention, and cared for him, they would have noticed something was wrong. But of course no one did. Shivering slightly, the crimson Shinigami continued to move forward, his eyes cast downward, his arms tightly wrapped around himself.

Time seemed to drag on forever, but finally, Grell found himself standing near the frozen ocean where the boy was meant to fall in and drown. Looking at his pocket watch, he noticed he was right on time, and that the incident would happen at any moment. Keeping out of sight, he watched closely, soon spotting the young boy. Waiting, he watched as the boy slipped on the ice, and fell into the frozen ocean. It was quite disturbing, but it really didn't bother Grell. This was what he did for living. Without death, he wouldn't exist. The thought sounded almost appealing to the red head. Sometimes he wished he had never existed. He was by far the worst Shinigami ever to exist. All his coworkers made fun of him, beat him, mocked him. It was much like a bullied kid in high school, but he was a grown adult, and the other reapers sometimes would seriously injure him.

Moving forward, Grell went for the boy, almost falling due to dizziness. Before he could make it, he felt a strong hand wrap around his neck. It was quite painful, and almost immediately cut off all airflow to his lungs. But before it was cut off, Grell was overwhelmed by the terrible stench the demon had. Never before had he been so sickened by the way a demon smelt.

Struggling weakly, Grell tried to summon forth his death scythe, but found it was impossible to do so. He just didn't have the strength, or energy to do so.

Grinning, the demon kept his grip on Grell's neck, and dragged him down to the icy ocean. Once there, he left the poor red head in place of the child, soon speaking a few words. "No reaper is going to take the soul that belongs to me." Turning, he made his way off with the boy, leaving Grell to fend for himself in the freezing, icy water.

Only seconds passed, and Grell quickly came to realize something was terribly wrong. Normally cold water didn't affect a reaper, save for being annoying. But right now, for Grell, it was agonizing. He could hardly move, and it was slowly causing him to slip into an unconscious state. Well, he soon did, and was quickly swept under by the current.

Due to his weak condition, the red haired reaper was in mortal danger. Yes, shinigami were immortal, but only in a sense. It by no means meant that they could just do what they wanted. They had to make sure to rest, and eat. Not as much as a human of course, but they still needed to. And Grell hadn't been eating, nor had he been resting much. And because of this, the freezing water was slowly zapping the fragile life from him.

We could end the story there, seeing as no one at all cares for Grell. But that would just be lying. There is _one _person who was quite fond of the red head. And by some miracle, he was in the area at the time. If Grell had been awake, he would have seen the flash of black and gray, the arms hidden by sleeves that now cradled him, or the out of place frown that graced the face of his savior. But sadly, he was unconscious, and now barely breathing.


	2. The power of love

Hurrying back to his shop, the Undertaker kept a tight hold on Grell, trying his best to keep the much to slender reaper warm. He didn't know what hit him, but after Grell hugged him in the Shinigami library, he just couldn't keep his mind off of the adorable red head. As the time went by after that, he had become worried, having kept a close eye on the red head, he noticed things seemed much to wrong. Not only was he treated badly, but it seemed it had started to affect the young reaper.

At first he seemed to just get more upset at things happening, but that quickly changed. When it did, the Undertaker kept a very close eye on him, knowing there wasn't much he could do. He noticed quickly that Grell had quit eating, and was also using his replacement scissors to cut his arms. Undertaker knew that it was dangerous, and that because the scissors were death scythes, he could easily get an infection. Knowing this, he made sure to sneak in when Grell was resting, and would treat the cuts on his arms, and other parts of his body.

Even doing that, Undertaker still worried about the red head, especially since he wasn't eating. As a famous Shinigami, he knew much about how they worked, and all the little details that even the most high up of Shinigami sometimes didn't know. They were immortal, and Undertaker showed that, having been around for much to long to even try to count. But things could kill them, and they needed to take care of themselves.

Eating was one of the things that was important for a reapers well being. Sure, they could go extra long periods without food, but it wasn't a good health choice. As for Grell, Undertaker was pretty sure he hadn't eaten a bite of food in over six months. This was much too long for a reaper to go without food. If he'd been a human, he would have died. Undertaker thanked the gods he wasn't.

But back to the importance of food for a reaper. It seemed that if one went without food, it was almost as if their immortality disappeared, and they became much more susceptible to illness, and death. This worried the Undertaker very much, even more so that the feminine Shinigami had fallen into the frozen ocean.

Setting Grell down in a nice, warm coffin, the Undertaker tried to get him warmed up, a severely worried expression on the visible part of his face. "Come on princess… don't die on me now." Grabbing more blankets, he wrapped them around the red head, then pulled his much too slender body close to his own. "I know you can hear me. I won't allow you to die. You are the only thing that is able to amuse me the greatest. You give me the laughter I have been searching for since I began to exist. I should have taken your damaged heart sooner. So hear this, Grell. You are not allowed to die! You are much to young still, and the universe would be so dull without you."

Not getting a response, Undertaker let out a sigh, and just continued to hold Grell close. Hours passed, and the famous Shinigami found himself drifting off to sleep. More hours passed, and the Undertaker continued to sleep, the red head still nestled tightly in his arms. By the time he woke up, he wasn't sure what time it was, or how much time had gone by. Ignoring that, the retired Shinigami quickly checked on Grell, finding that by some miracle, he was slowly recovering.

Sitting there in thought for a moment, the Undertaker soon laid Grell back in the coffin, and stood up, making his way around the coffins that lay about the shop. Going over to one against the wall, he opened it to reveal a closet, which was full of man cloaks that matched the one he was wearing. Pulling one out, the Undertaker made his way back over to Grell. "Please do forgive me, but I must get these soaked clothes off your body." Gently undressing the unconscious male, he dried him off with a towel, then placed the cloak on him. After that, he wrapped him back up in the blankets. "There, that should feel much better now." Climbing down into the coffin, the Undertaker pulled Grell close once more, silently hoping that he would pull through this. Only time would tell.

Days went by, the Undertaker taking good care of Grell, as well as tending to his job as well… a Undertaker. It was a bit difficult to keep Grell hidden, for the young Earl always was curious to know what the retired Shinigami was hiding.

Finally, on the fifth day of Grell being there, the red head finally began to awaken.

Glancing over, the Undertaker saw the red head beginning to open his eyes. Dropping what he was doing, he made his way over, a hopeful look on what was visible of his face. "Ah, you finally awaken princess."

Slowly opening his eyes, Grell let his surroundings flood his senses. Everything seemed confusing, and he felt weak, and lost. Trying to remember what happened, he slowly remembered the ocean, and the scary demon, but couldn't remember exactly what had happened.

Seeing that the red head was still very weak, the Undertaker sat down, and took the other's slender hand in his own two hands. "Shh, just rest, you've been through a lot. I'll take care of you, and keep you safe."

Smiling softly, he adjusted the blankets that were still wrapped around the red head.

Pulling Grell into his arms once again, the Undertaker closed his eyes which his hair hid, and let out a sigh. "You should have said something, not struggled alone… I do hope I am still not too late. I want to help you, but you must except my offer of kindness and love."

Hearing the words of the Undertaker, Grell tried to process them, and understand them through his foggy brain. After processing them, he felt his emotions act up, and suddenly began to cry, much to the Undertaker's dismay.

"Sush, don't cry." Pulling Grell closer, the Undertaker rubbed his bony back in a soothing manner, slightly feeling like he was trying to comfort a skeleton. Due to Grell being a Shinigami, he was nowhere near as skinny as a human would be, but he was still skin and bones, and certainly didn't look healthy. "It will all be okay, just rest, we'll talk about things later, and get you healthy again." Saying this, the Undertaker hoped that he wasn't speaking lies. He wanted more than anything to see Grell back the way he used to be, the Grell he fell in love with. But was it too late for that? He sure hoped it wasn't.


	3. Confessions

More days passed, the Undertaker having continued to tend to Grell. At first he felt as if things seemed to be looking up, but eventually Grell became more aware, and that is when the trial started.

He should have been expecting it, knowing very well the mental condition that Grell was in. But he still wasn't ready to deal with the very mentally disturbed red head. It was quite obvious that the retired Shinigami had no idea what he was doing. Even so, he was determined to help the young red haired Shinigami, for he wanted nothing more than to see him the way he used to be, and to have him as his lover.

But seeing as how things were going, it almost looked hopeless. Grell still wasn't eating, and wasn't even talking. The Undertaker had hardly been sleeping, worried that the red head would fall asleep and not wake up. Sometimes he would fall asleep, and wake up just to check Grell's pulse to make sure he was alive. For someone who worked around death constantly, the concept sure was scaring him.

Things were a lot different in Grell's perspective. He felt afraid, and wasn't sure what to do, or how to act. This of course, caused him to be more withdrawn, and isolated. He refused to talk to the Undertaker, much to afraid to let him in. He too, had feelings for the retired Shinigami, but everyone he ever fell in love with ended up hurting him, and he had convinced himself that this would happen with even the Undertaker.

Staring up at the dark ceiling from the coffin he was laying in, Grell tried to fall back asleep, but due to intense hunger, was unable to. He wasn't even sure when the last time he ate was, but he knew it had been a very long time. Now, for some odd reason, he was feeling extremely hungry, and it was actually scaring him. Sitting up slightly, he stared over at the coffin the Undertaker slept in, a sorrowful look coming to his eyes as he did. He really wanted to accept the Undertaker's love, but felt he couldn't.

Laying back down in the coffin, mostly from exhaustion, Grell had no idea at all that the Undertaker was not asleep in the coffin, but instead awake, and watching him from a dark corner. Sure, it was creepy, but then again, what wasn't creepy about the Undertaker?

Taking a sip from his beaker full of tea, the funeral director kept his hair covered eyes on Grell, slightly sensing that the crimson reaper was finally feeling the intense hunger that his body had been enduring for a long time.

Standing to his feet, the Undertaker made his way over to Grell, a small plate of crackers in his one hand, and his beaker of tea in the other. "Grell… are you awake?"

Jumping slightly, Grell raised his head slightly, and slowly let his eyes fall upon the retired Shinigami. Nodding his head, he eyed the plate of crackers, a wave of fear washing through him when he did. Boy did he want to reach out and devour the crackers, his physical body screaming at him to do so, but his conscious mind was screaming even louder not to.

Frowning, the Undertaker sat down the plate of crackers, quickly noticing the look of despair that had come over Grell's face. "Shh… just calm down... take it slowly. I know it is hard, but your body wants food… you should listen to it.

Pulling the blanket tighter around himself, Grell eyed the crackers that sat near him, his sharp, shark like teeth slightly chewing on his bottom lip. After a moment, his slender, shaking hand reached out, and grabbed one of the crackers. Slowly, he brought it to his lips, and took a small bite from it. Chewing the small bite slowly, he soon swallowed, causing the Undertaker to almost leap for joy.

Taking another small bite, Grell did the same thing as he had the last time, until finally the cracker had disappeared.

Grinning, the Undertaker knelt down, and wrapped his arms around Grell, a bit unnerved at how small Grell had gotten. Letting his smile change into a soft smile, the funeral director closed his eyes. "I have never been more proud of anything in my existence." Breathing in, he kept his eyes shut. "I just wish to see you smile again. Oh how I miss it so. I thought working with the dead was the thing that I loved the most, but now I know that you, you and your beautiful smile, and flowing red hair… all your little quirks, those are the things I love the most.

Leaning against the Undertaker, Grell closed his eyes as well, his heart rate speeding a bit at the confession the Undertaker had made. Opening his mouth, he took in a deep breath. "You are… the reason I still live. I… I love you."

Opening his eyes that his hair kept hidden, the funeral director looked down at Grell, a slightly shocked, but pleased look on his face. Staring in awe, he watched as the red head slowly formed a smile, one he could call the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.


	4. Revelations

[A/N: I would like to thank everyone for their reviews! I realize I have been a bad author, and failed to put any notes before my chapters. I know they are short, and I do hope this doesn't upset anyone. It is just how I write... but I assure you, the story will have many chapters to make up for how short they are.

On another note, this chapter has some... graphic nature in it, so please beware. It does explain as to why Grell is the way he is, or partly, so to speak. Please read and review, or not. xD But, I thank all my readers, and hope this chapter suits your fancy.]

Hours passed as the Undertaker held Grell tightly in his arms. No words were spoken, the only sounds were those of himself and Grell breathing. Before he knew it, the sun was rising, and the red head had been asleep for hours. Sighing quietly, the Undertaker gently ran his hair through Grell's long red hair. "Just rest m'dear. You are doing great."

Pulling Grell into a gentle embrace, the Undertaker rubbed his back gently, wanting him to sleep as best as possible. Lately, he had been having terrible nightmares, ones of which the red head wouldn't tell him anything about. This worried the mortician greatly, seeing as it could set back his recovery, just when it had begun in the first place.

Twitching slightly, Grell stayed asleep in the warm arms of the retired death god, no sign of nightmares at that moment. However, in his dreamland, things were much different. What the Undertaker believed to be nightmares, were more along the lines of reliving something that had happened not to long ago.

_He had just finished what he thought was the worst mission he was sent on. It wasn't so much the mission, but the weather conditions, and the fact that it was in a dark part of London that frightened the feminine reaper._

_Wrapping his arms around himself, he shivered, already soaked through and through from the freezing rain. It didn't help much at all that the wind was blowing so hard. Continuing to move forward, the red haired shinigami had no idea the danger he was heading right for._

_Stopping at a dead end, he let out a sigh, seeing he had gone and got himself lost. Turning to head back the way he came, he noticed the pack of demons that had surrounded him. Reaching for his weapon, he realized once again that it wasn't his chainsaw, but a pair of tiny scissors. Huffing, he glared forward, hiding that he was actually nervous. "What do you want?"_

_Stepping forward, one of the bigger demons held a malicious grin on his face. "You sure are a cute one~ I'd really love to taste you." Reaching out, he grabbed both of Grell's wrist, laughing at the squeak of defiance he gave. "I'd suggest that you don't try fighting back, It'll just get you hurt more. You see, you are very lucky actually. None of us are that hungry for souls."_

_Trying to get free, Grell knew he was in trouble, and couldn't see a way out of it. Just going on instinct, he leaned over, and bit down on the demons hand, and ran forward when he was let go of. However, he didn't get far, as the other demons grabbed on to him and shoved him to the ground._

_Grinning at how he whimpered, the demon leaned in close to him, grabbing on to his chin as the other demons held him down. "Shh.. you don't want to attract the people in this area.. I would advise you to stay quiet." Reaching in to Grell's pocket, he pulled out the pair of scissors. "Hmm..." Grinning wider, he set them aside, and carefully undressed Grell, and even folded the clothes, as if mocking the red head. Once he had taken them all off, he stepped back to look the red head over, then reached over and grabbed the scissors. "I really can't resist cutting up your perfect skin. I am sure your blood is beautiful."_

_Reaching in to his pocket, he pulled out a cloth, and gagged Grell with it. "But, I also need you to keep quiet." Taking the scissors, he moved down near Grell's hip, and went to work on deeply cutting his name in to the red head._

_As this happened, all Grell could do was shut his eyes and whimper. It stung pretty bad, especially since the demon was using his own weapons on him. But what stung the most was the fact that the scars would be permanent, and he knew the demon knew this._

_After finishing cutting his name in to Grell, the demon found himself making multiple cuts on Grell's body, enjoying the site of the blood that would come from it. After awhile, he became bored of that. Taking the small red scissors, the demon leaned over and stuck them right through his hands, and in to the ground._

_Feeling a sharp pain in his hands, Grell screamed through the gag around his mouth, only getting a laugh from the head demon. Clenching his eyes closed tighter, Grell tried to think of something else, but was unable to when the demon suddenly shoved himself into Grell. Letting out another scream, he struggled against the scissors that were holding him down, but found it only made his hands hurt worse._

_Taking in deep breaths, he didn't even get a chance to adjust before the demon began to move in and out of him at a inhumane pace. It was only a few minutes before Grell fell unconscious from the pain._

_When he finally woke up, he was alone again. The gag had been removed from his mouth, though his scissors were still embedded in his hands. Whimpering, he shut his eyes tightly, and lifted his hand up against the pair of scissors, and pulled until they came from the ground. Breathing heavily, he rolled onto his side, and waited a few minutes before pulling the other pair of scissors out._

_After he did that, he laid there for god knows how long, in much to pain to even attempt to get up. After awhile, he decided it was best to get out of that part of town before someone spotted him. Reaching over, he grabbed onto his clothes, and slowly pulled them on. After what seemed like forever, he finally got dressed, and wrapped his cherished red coat tightly around himself, before climbing to his feet._

_At first he fell down, but he forced himself to his feet again, and stumbled from the alley way. To his relief, he found he was already close to getting out of that part of the city already. Moving forward, he used a wall for support, only stopping once to vomit up the contents of his stomach._

_After walking a short distance, he found himself overcome by dizziness, and collapsed to the ground suddenly, not even getting a chance to find out where he even was_.

Watching Grell with a worried look, the Undertaker tried to shake him awake, tried to stop the horrified screams that were coming from the one he loved. Moments passed, and finally, Grell's eyes flashed open, him having awoken from the nightmare. Not saying anything, he clung to the mortician and sobbed uncontrollably.

Rubbing his back, Undertaker shushed Grell, and spoke comforting words. He didn't dare ask Grell what the dream was about, fearing it would cause Grell to slip back further into his shell.

After awhile, Grell had calmed, and was now resting, though not asleep. Due to the nightmares, he was not sleeping much at all, and this too, worried the Undertaker. The red head he once knew to be spunky, and comedic was now a shadow of his former self, and almost a completely different person to the mortician. But this didn't change the love that the Undertaker felt for the crimson reaper, it only deepened it, and made him want to do more to get Grell back to the way he once was. But in order to do this, he had to find out what Grell was having nightmares about, for he knew they were the reason for everything.


End file.
